Journal entry for
7/6/15
12:16 am
This weekend brought on many thoughts, feelings and
emotions. Ill be honest at first that I wasn’t sure that it would work with a 3rd
girl but once I got to know becca better the more I liked her and the more I
feel she is going to make a great addition to our family. This is my first
experience as poly and ive always said I wasn’t cut out for poly but when I sit
back and look at it it does have its perks such as more to people to contribute
to the house and im not meaning monetarily, im meaning as far as support within
the house and to each other and having people who care about each other and be
there for the good and bad times.
Of course I AM going to start selling my crochet. I have a
schedule worked out for me that allows me time each day to work on my crochet
to sell, along as with my writing. I plan on making something of myself, of
course in a way I feel like I already have as im a slave and I LOVE being a slave,
there is nothing else in this world id rather be.
Oh and kind of something I brought up before but my gyno
check up came back good which is good news and ill soon be having my mammogram
and if it checks out fine I still, if its okay with you want to have a baby.
Matt, I cant think of anyone that would make a better father, and I know I
wouldn’t be alone, the child would grow up in a family made of love, and people
who want to be there, not just are there because of blood relation. I was just
such a fuck up with my own kids and I want another chance, plus im older now
and have more of a maternal instinct than I did back then. Soo, ill call
tomorrow and schedule the boob squishing and we can go from there but please
let me know what you think.
Also tonight it took a lot for me to ask you if I could come
upstairs and have some cuddle time with you, Ive NEVER done that with anyone. I
always put my needs last but tonight I just needed the physical contact. I
thrive on physical contact and when I go without it I tend to start becoming
withdrawn and even ..;.not resentful but I guess cranky because I don’t know
how to ask for what I need. But im
working on that and tonight was proof of me working on that. Not to being up
the past but there was a rule where if I wasn’t busy doing house chores or
something along those lines I was to be touching him, even if it was a hand on
his leg…and I became to depend on that and crave it. Something else I want to
do but don’t want to over step any boundaries is sitting at your feet when we
have down time here at home. Ive purposely been sitting on the floor more as I
don’t feel a slave should be allowed on the furniture but thats just me…I may
make either a pillow, or crochet a thick matt for doing so if its okahy with
you. My only concern is that while im not sure how I fit as far as the alpha
slave o what but I don’t want to step on anyones toes by doing any of
this…that’s the only confusing part for me is making sure everyone gets their
fair share of time and things like that. Just let me know what you think
Please.
Oh and I know you aren’t one for titles but I do like using
the word Sir at times, is that okay with you? I feel like im asking 20
questions but if I don’t ask I wont know…
Oh and I did talk ti kitten about me being attracted to her
tonight and she is okay with it. I confided that im afraid that if it doesn’t
work out and its just not for me that it would ruin our friend ship but she
assured me it wouldn’t and she understands ive never tried anything like this before or even been attracted to a girl
before so that makes it easier on me..oh and she is going to totally pierce my
nipples again for me…I cant wait, maybe she will do it tonight…all depends on
how tired we get I think.
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